Painting Magalahi Hurao
How art helps release our fears and guides our passions.
It took me years to find the spirit to carry out this art project. The words of a 17th century Chamorro leader, (Chief) Magalahi Hurao, rang in my ears for years, and despite numerous requests to produce a depiction of him, I felt overwhelmed by the task. How could I adequately create a piece so powerful for someone I so deeply respect?
As an artist, I can relate to other creatives and getting through self-doubt, artistic blocks, and other obstacles that seemingly prevent us from doing our best. Add trauma into the mix and, well, the battle becomes even more difficult to endure.
However, something clicked recently. A light turned on in my head and I realized what I was missing to manifest my artistic goal of recreating Magalahi Hurao. Instead of over-analyzing it, questioning myself to pieces, or avoiding the project all together, I got to work.
For years, I've sketched and painted portraits and when they're of people I love, care about, and respect, it's a lot of pressure. I put a LOT of pressure on myself to get things right - which can be motivating as well as debilitating. The eyes are especially the most daunting task to paint or draw. Accomplishing a feeling through the eyes is a challenge, but with Magalahi Hurao this was colossal.
How could I capture strength, tenderness, a warrior defending Indigenous matriarchy against patriarchal religious fundamentalists, resilience, introspection, leadership, courage, passion, and clarity?
If I were to depict someone worthy of such reverence, I had to rediscover those same traits within myself - without pause or fear. Sometimes our best work is done by confronting the root cause of what's stopping us, and facing it head-on.
I started drawing from the eyes despite my fears and worked my way through every line, muscle, and movement in various sketches and simply drew a mental cloak over my mind's constant chatter. In minimizing distractions and internal monologue, the colors began to make themselves known. At one point, it didn't even feel like I was trying. It just happened.
When we take the time to ask ourselves, "what's wrong?" and follow through with taking care of root issues, we free ourselves from the shackles of negative thoughts we don't need anymore. Whether it's haunting traumatic memories or persistent self-doubt, the moment we decide to leave pain behind and stand up to fear, we give ourselves a key to personal freedom.
Wading through fear and doubt, and pressing on with unbridled courage, provides us access to a limitless source of passion, creativity, and inspiration. While the journey can appear daunting at times, the rewards are indeed worthwhile. Our happiness is worthwhile.
As Magalahi Hurao said in his speech in 1671, "Let us not lose courage in the presence of our misfortunes."
And to honor such a powerful figure who encouraged his community to not lose sight of what's important - and to release toxic ties, fear, and doubt - I did just that.
Read his speech below.
Chamorro-English Translation of Magalahi Hurao's speech (1671):
Manmaolek-ña ha mohon yanggen mañaga ha’ i taotao lagu siha gi tano’-ñiha. Ti ta malagugu’i i inakuden-ñiha para u ta fanla’la’ maolek. Mannahong hit ni’ guinahan i tano’-ta, taya’ ta’lo ginagagao-ta. Ayu ha’ bidada-ña i fina’ na’ guen-ñiha i ha na’lameggai yan ha attista i minalago’-ta siha.
The Westerners (Spaniards) would have done better to remain in their own country. We have no need of their help to live happily. Satisfied with what our islands furnish us, we desire nothing. The knowledge which they have given us has only increased our needs and stimulated our desires.
Ilek-ñiha na isao sumenlasso’. Yanggen magahet ini, si Yu’us u na’ guaha gi tano’. Ma na’huyong kalan manduya’ yan manmachalek hit na taotao siha. Lao kao para ta hongge siha? Kado’ manmafa’nana’gue hit, lao gi minagahet ma na’fana’abak hit. Manma amotguan hit ni’ tai minappot na lina’la’-ta.
They find it evil that we don't wear clothes. If that were necessary, our Creator would have provided it to us. They treat us as gross people and regard us as barbarians. But do we have to believe them? Under the excuse of instructing us, they are corrupting us. They take away from us the simplicity in which we live.
Manma'amot hit ni’ mina’lulok-ta ni takhelo’-ña kini i luma’la’. Manma ke’eppok hit na u ta fanlamagof ya guaha gi ya hita mamfina’baba ya ta hongge i "mames" na fino’-ñiha. Lao, kao ta po’lo ha’ ini na siñente siha yanggen ta hasso na ginen finatton-ñiha i taotao lagu siha na ta tutuhon manmalangu ya manmañetnot?
They dare to take away our liberty, which should be dearer to us than life itself. They try to persuade us that we will be happier, and some of us had been fooled into believing their "sweet" words. But can we have such sentiments if we reflect that we have been covered with misery and illness ever since those foreigners have come to disturb our peace?
Ti ta tungo’ put ga’ga’ dikike’ siha annai ti manmafatto gi tano’-ta. Kao ta tungo’ put cha’ka, ñamu, lalo’ yan otro na mandañuyan na ga’ga’ dikike’ siha ni’ sesso’ ha na’fañatsaga hit? Ini siha i manggefpa’go na nina’en-ñiha gi ya hita. Ya hafa ayu i manmama’ya na ga’ga-niha ha chulili’i hit? Taya’ gi manma’pos na tiempo chetnot riuma yan tinaohan. Yanggen guaha minalangu siha, guaha amte’ta. Lao manma chulili’i hit magi chetnot siha ya ti manmafa’na’gue hit hafa i amte siha. Kao ta po’lo ha’ i che’cho’ minagof yan i mambaba na minalago’ na u na’fañagi hit lulok yan otro siha na fina’hugeti ni’ ti u fa’maolek hit?
Before they arrived on the island, we did not know insects. Did we know rats, flies, mosquitoes, and all the other little animals which constantly torment us? These are the beautiful presents they have given us. And what have their floating machines brought us? Before, we didn't have rheumatism and inflammations. If we had sickness, we had remedies for them. But they've brought us their diseases and do not teach us the remedies. Is it necessary that our desires make us want iron and other trinkets which don't even make us happy?
Manma achaka hit ni’ Españot siha na "mañatsaga, manaitiningo’, yan manggago’" hit. Lao yanggen manmiche’ hit, hafa ma aliligao guini? Yanggen ti manmalago’ nu hita, ti u fanhuyong i u na’fanlamlan siha yan ti u ma cho’gue amanu i ma na’siña ya u fañaga gi tano’-ta. Hafa na asunto na manmafa’na’gue hit ni’ i pengnga’-ñiha lao put i para ta dalalaki yan tattiyi i tiningo’-ñiha yan para ta na’falingu i guaguan na nina’en i mañaina-ta? Ginen i fino’-ñiha siha, ma ke chagi numa’fanaliminagof hit para ta tanga kadada’ na minagof ni’ ti hagu’ on estaki finatai.
The Spaniards reproach us because of our "poverty, ignorance and lack of industry." But if we're so poor, as they tell us, then what are they looking for here? If they didn’t have need of us, they would not expose themselves to so many perils and make such efforts to establish themselves in our midst. For what purpose do they teach us except to make us adopt their customs, to subject us to their laws, and to remove the precious liberty left to us by our ancestors? In a word, they try to make us unhappy in the hope of an ephemeral happiness which can be enjoyed only after death.
Ma na’huyong komu kado’kado’ yan dinagi i fina’posta. Kao ti mamparehu direcho-ta nu ayu siha i manmafa’na’gue-ta na mansen magahet? Manma honño’ i tai minappot na lina’la’-ta yan hinengge-ta. Todu i nina’siñan-ñiha ma na’huyong para u fa’baba hit; todu i tiningo’-ñiha para u na’fampiniti hit. Yanggen mambatchet yan mannangnga hit, ya ennao malago’-ñiha para ta honnge, manaiguini hit sa’ sigi ha’ ta eyak i mambaba na dibuyo’-ñiha siha ya sumala’ sa’ ta po’lo ha’ para u fañaga guini.
They treat our history as fable and fiction. Haven’t we the same right concerning that which they teach us as incontestable truths? They exploit our simplicity and good faith. All their skill is directed towards tricking us; all their knowledge tends only to make us unhappy. If we are so blind and ignorant, as they would have us believe, it is because we have learned their evil plans too late and have allowed them to settle here.
Mungnga hit numana’falingu animu put ini na achaki. Mandidide’ ha’ siha. Ta a’ñao achokka’ taya’ atmas-ta taiguihi gi ya siha ni’ manyayamak yan mamumuno’, ta hulat sa’ manmeggai hit. Manmetgot-ña hit ki ta hongge! Ya siña ta apatta hit ginen ini na taotao hiyong siha ya ta na’ta’lo tatte i minagof yan i minaolek lina’la’-ta!
Let us not lose courage in the presence of our misfortunes. They are only a handful. We can easily defeat them, even though we don’t have their deadly weapons which spread destruction all over, we can overcome them by our large numbers. We are stronger than we think! And we can quickly free ourselves from these foreigners and return to the happiness and goodness of our lives!
